It's probably not a stretch to wonder why someone who hates gardening and being in a garden at all even bothers to have a garden. I mean, surely it'd be easier just to remove all of the plants and have a giant patio or concrete it over or something like that, right? I wouldn't have to get beaten up by the nasty pollen any more, and there'd be plenty of space for a table and chairs and a barbecue. Surely that's job done?
Well, I kinda had a garden like that in the first house I bought. It was flagged and had a raised rectangular brick-built goldfish pond and that was it. Aside from removing weeds from the cracks between the paving there was very little to do, and no upkeep. Perfect, right?
Well, no. It was a dull, bland space and neither of us particularly enjoyed being out in it. There was a shed that was too small to store useful things like chairs or a barbecue, and with it being our first house we were too busy trying to sort out the interior. We didn't have any kids, either, so aside from feeding the goldfish there wasn't much to do - and thanks to a hot summer and an algal bloom, most of the fish died and the sole survivor was 'rescued' and brought inside into a fish tank. Yeah, I know now that was a big mistake, and there'll no doubt be a post elaborating on that in the future, too, but I'm trying to keep this one focused on the point of having a garden. We didn't even bother with pots.
A garden so bland that the only photo I can find of it was taken through a broken window so the broken glass added interest
In the next house, we had two daughters arrive shortly after moving in, and this garden had a bit more going on in it already - planted borders, split levels, all sorts of things. It needed a bit of work as it had been left empty for a very long time after she'd passed away, both inside and outside the house. We tried our best, but we mainly focused our efforts inside the house, and with the pair of us working and with two small children to look after, we didn't have a lot of time to look after it.
My wife wanted to give the girls a better garden space so they could play out there, so we put french doors out to the garden, and started fixing it up with a retaining wall and raised sleepers in the front of the beds. The girls got a trampoline and a wendy house and a water and sand play thing and chalk to draw on the flags, and we started to shape it a bit. It was really a case of just making things work as best as we could with little to no budget to throw at it, and trying to figure out what the hell was already in the garden and what we needed to do to keep it alive. Spending a little more time out there, I started noticing things like butterflies all over the buddleja, and ladybird eggs hatching under the leaves.
I mean, I still didn't want to sit out in the garden, but my wife did, and the kids loved being out there. I got involved where I could, and my wife directed my efforts so they were slightly better than aimlessly flailing around, and we went out to various garden/plant fairs and so on to find some interesting or pretty plants. It was about this time where we started watching Garden Rescue and I started paying a bit more attention to the various things involved with gardening, and realised that there was a lot more going on. The whole thing with the bees dying off was everywhere, and I started to get worried about them. That led to getting worried about native wildlife in general, and the realisation that I had a garden and could potentially do something to help about that in some small way.
It was about this time that we sold up, and moved over to Formby. We stayed in a rental house for a little over a year, and it had a garden that was in need of tidying up so we started doing that. We left some long grass for the wildlife, brought some pots with us and added a few more, and generally tidied things up. We didn't know how long we'd be there, but I started to think a little bit more about gardens and what they were for. Charlie and the Rich brothers had opened my eyes in terms of garden design and planning, and in terms of planting schemes, so I went and read everything the local library had to offer. We watched more gardening shows like Gardener's World and Love Your Garden and Big Dreams, Small Spaces and I started asking questions.
Our pot collection in the rental garden
I asked the whole family what it was that they wanted in the garden. I had them think about what they wanted to use it for. I figured we'd all want something, so let's try to get it in there. My wife wanted a place to sit outside, read a book, drink a glass of wine. The kids wanted various things to play on - trampoline, slide, gym bars - or somewhere they could sit. They needed space to play, and run around. They were all interested in growing some food to eat. We wanted to be able to invite people around to sit outside. And me? Well, I liked barbecues and wanted one of those. The garden wasn't really my thing, but I do like food and you can't beat a barbecue.
Perhaps more importantly, we all agreed that we wanted to encourage wildlife. The girls had done a lot of eco-awareness stuff in and out of school, and my wife and I are basically hippies at heart so this was the major thing at the heart of what we wanted to do. Every gardening thing ever always says that wildlife in the garden is best encouraged with a pond, so that had to be a main feature. Aside from that, we were going to be thinking in terms of pollinators to attract the bees, and being lazy we didn't want a ton of upkeep. That meant I was thinking of things like drought-tolerant and perennial planting.
We were still renting at this point, so it was all just ideas. But we could talk about it, and think about it, and we could go around the shows and see things that we liked and look them up and find out about them.And in some ways, that was perfect as it gave us a chance to look around the local area and see what grew well there, and to find our local nurseries and garden centres and take a look around. It gave me plenty of time to understand some of the basics and to figure out what sorts of things I needed to look for to have the best shot at keeping plants alive.
And then, we bought our current home, and that had a garden. It had been left empty for a while, but it had a decent selection of plants and shrubs and trees in there already - although the lawn was completely shot. It didn't have any of the features we wanted, the borders were half-buried or collapsed or overgrown, and it had a ton of stuff in there that we didn't like and didn't want. It was time to stop theorizing and to start putting in the work to figure out how to turn what we had into what we wanted.
The starting point for the garden - how it looked when we moved in
These days I still don't think that the garden is for me, and I certainly don't think of myself as a gardener. I garden for my family and I garden for wildlife. I do the work to create a space where my family and I can do things, not just to have a pretty space for the sake of having it. The really, really strange thing for me, though, is that I've somehow found myself enjoying the whole thing. Sure, weeding and deadheading is a chore and there's been a lot of work involved and there's still loads more to do. But when I see the dragonflies and damselflies resting on the plants I've planted, and I see the tiny frogs hopping around the borders, and I see butterflies and bees and hoverflies and even a hummingbird hawk-moth, and I see the cuttings or seedlings I've grown flourishing... well, then I get a real feeling of wonder that this useless git has managed to do something good.
What I like best of all, though, is seeing my family out there enjoying themselves. Watching my daughters playing or drawing or reading, or seeing my wife taking her morning coffee by the acer, or having a family barbecue outside - it's enough to make it all worthwhile.
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